Acting has always been a passion for Julie Tolivar, from gracing the stage from a young age to being in front of the camera. But while she is excited about every role she takes on, she is especially passionate about being a mom and working with organizations like Women to the Front, which helps support and fundraise for many nonprofits that are helping to support women and voting rights. Read on as we get real about Hollywood and its treatment of women and mothers and the issues of type casting actors, in our exclusive interview with Julie Tolivar.

Where are you based?
I split my time between New York and Los Angeles.

You’re a theater fanatic and even started your career on stage! Can you tell us more about how you got started in acting? Do you prefer to act on stage or on the screen these days?
I started doing theater at the age of six in my hometown of New Orleans, and I loved it. From day one I felt very “at home” in the theater and loved the world of make believe that acting allowed me to inhabit. I did some local TV and film stuff as a child, as well, but it wasn’t until later into my young adult life I really became interested in and passionate about on-screen work. I wouldn’t say I have a preference with regards to stage or screen acting. Acting is acting, but obviously there are certain things that are different and it is certainly a different experience. I really do love the rehearsal process in the theater, but there is something very special and intimate about the work that happens in front of the camera. I also am very excited about what is being written for TV right now.

You were recently in Fleishman in Trouble. Can you tell us a bit about the show and your character Karen?
The show is incredible. It’s nice to be part of something that I get excited about every time I tell someone to watch it. The writing and the performances are all very original, very real, and extremely relatable. The show is about a lot of things and I think the writer, Taffy Brodesser-Akner, would tell you that herself. It’s about marriage, divorce, friendship, middle age, and well…. life. I really like how my character, Karen, is such an important part of Toby Fleishman’s journey even though she is in a hospital bed for most of the show. She represents this ideal that Toby has about what he thinks the perfect wife and mother might look like and is then faced with the reality of her humanity. I love that the story allows her to be a full person and not just a stereotype. There is a lot more in the book that was originally in the script about Karen’s inner life, the struggles in her marriage, and what her trip to Vegas was all about, but didn’t make it into the show because of the production schedule.

Any new projects in the works?
I always say I love the lack of monotony when you are in the entertainment business. You never know what exciting things are right around the corner.

We love that you are passionate about giving back. Can you tell us about your work with Women To The Front (WTTF) ? What do they do? And why are you an advocate for them?
A friend of mine introduced me to the organization because I was looking for a way to be proactive and involved in things that I care about. Women to the Front was started by a couple of awesome ladies after the 2016 election who felt like they wanted to make a difference but didn’t know how. Women to the Front was born. WTTF is a NYC-based, intersectional feminist action group. Their mission is to fundraise for hard-working organizations that protect, defend, and advocate for progressive issues that need support and awareness. WTTF has produced eight fundraisers since 2016, which raised almost $100K. We’ve helped organizations like Spread the Vote and Southern Echo, who help underprivileged and forgotten communities gain a voice through voter IDs and education programs which enable people to hold their local and state governments accountable for a myriad of issues affecting their daily lives.

Women to the Front has also raised money for women’s organizations like Indigenous Women Rising, who focus on reproductive rights for native and indigenous women, and Higher Heights, whose mission is to provide Black women with a political home exclusively dedicated to harnessing their power to expand Black women’s elected representation and voting participation. I’m also proud of our work to raise money for organizations like The Human Utility, which pays water bills for families that cannot afford to do so, and The Florence Project, which provides free legal and social services to immigrants. So, as you can see, Women to the Front’s work has been far reaching.

I’ve enjoyed working with all the organizations’ members who are made up of everything from actors and casting directors to lawyers, writers, and educators — basically a bunch of strong, creative, smart women who are intent on making a difference.

You have also volunteered with International Rescue Committee (IRC). Can you tell us abit about them and your work with them?
Years ago, I worked very briefly with a sect of the IRC called GenR which stands for Generation Rescue. GenR is a group of young, influential humanitarians who work with and for the International Rescue Committee to help people survive conflict, disaster, and humanitarian crises around the world and rebuild their lives. They help raise awareness about the IRC’s mission and work by fundraising and creating educational and advocacy programs and opportunities in their communities. One of the Women to the Front members introduced me to the organization and I was so grateful to have my eyes opened about the incredible far-reaching work of the IRC.

You’re a mother of two and a full time actor. What is your experience trying to do it all in an industry that can be quite unrealistic? What obstacles have you run into?
To be honest, being a mother of two is fairly new to me as my son is seven months old. But I will say even being a mother of one child changes your perspective about pretty much everything including what you consider an “obstacle”. Being a mom is exhausting. Period. I mean, it’s wonderful and challenging and the most beautiful important role I’ll ever play, but it is exhausting. And being an actor takes preparation and commitment and drive. So, I find that finding the time and the energy to invest in myself and my career is sometimes challenging. I think any mother would say that whether they are in the entertainment industry or a different profession. I have made it a priority, though, to commit myself to continuing to pursue and do the things that I loved even before I became a mother. All those “unrealistic expectations” that I feel the industry places on actors are not so important to me anymore. But the work and the love for it is.

While I understand most men do not get asked this question, what advice would you give other women that are working in this industry and are trying to balance raising a family and their career?
It is so true that men do not get asked this question. You really sparked my interest about why that is the case. We are living in a time that more and more men are choosing to stay home and be full time dads or attempt to balance both a career and parenthood. And while I know that women used to be expected to stay at home so dad could work, I don’t believe that is generally the case these days. I think more marriages these days are partnerships and both parents are sharing more in the responsibilities of parenting. But, going back to your original question, I would tell women who are trying to balance those two things to be kind to themselves. It’s not easy and there are a ton of ridiculous expectations put on moms these days to be perfect. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

You have used your platform to speak out about type casting and ageism for women in Hollywood. Can you expand on this?
What we see on our TV affects how our society and our children view the world and not celebrating women as they get “older” creates a whole slew of issues for not only young women but for the relationship between how we see ourselves as we age and how the rest of the world sees us. The expectation for women to stay young is cruel. We buy all these products that are supposed to erase the signs of aging — as if aging is not a shared human experience. Getting older and changing is part of life. Why would we, as a group of creatives and storytellers, want to shun getting older, wiser, more seasoned? Shouldn’t that just be another chapter in the human experience that we get to share with our audiences? I’m not saying I’m above trying to stay looking young as long as possible. I was raised in the south and grew up in the entertainment industry. That’s a lot of pressure to maintain a certain outward appearance. But at some point, the change has to start with how we see ourselves and what we value as individuals.

Regarding typecasting — I understand it is sometimes an inevitable result of time constraints and pressure that casting directors are faced with. They definitely have their hands full and I get that it is not an easy job. It takes real time and energy, time and energy that many casting directors and studios don’t have, to get to know actors as complex people and artists and not one thing that you put in a file. So, I’m definitely sympathetic to the situation, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating for the actors. But, typecasting really is just part of the industry no matter what level you’re at.

I often get called in for these “Upper Eastside women” or similar. It’s really funny because I most certainly did not grow up as that stereotype implies. I grew up in a working-class family in the suburbs of New Orleans. It’s interesting how you can be seen by others so differently than you see yourself. But at the end of the day, we are talking about acting. We are talking about the ability to portray people outside of yourself; however, there are certain things, an energy, a vibe maybe, that only you bring to any part that you may play. And that energy definitely plays into the “type” that you are seen as.

How do you feel the film industry can be more supportive of women and mothers?
I feel that we are heading in the right direction, but still have a long way to go. There is much more awareness of sexism and discrimination in the industry and our society in general, but women still have to work twice as hard to be respected in the same way men are. I was really grateful that everyone at Fleishman is in Trouble was incredibly supportive and positive with regards to my pregnancy. I don’t think that is always the case when a career woman chooses to also become a mother. I think by promoting more women within the industry — writers, producers, directors — we will inevitably have a more innate understanding of how women are able to have a full life experience that includes motherhood and still excel in her career. They are not mutually exclusive.

It has been a rough few years, how have you been staying positive during these times?
It is important to remind yourself of what is important to you and practice gratitude. Covid really mixed things up energetically. I feel like everyone is so ready for a fight these days and apt to assume the worst of people. I’ve caught myself in this spiral. I think it has to do with Covid and the political climate that has become so charged and polarized the past seven or eight years, but I’m not certain. It’s hard to put your finger on it, but people feel pent up and unable to relate to one another in a vulnerable way. I find myself turning to my children and their joy and innocence to remind me of all the good in the world. Children are so full of wonder and amazement about any little thing because everything is new. They have most certainly been a constant beacon to bring me back when things get dark.

What is your motto in life?
I don’t have a life motto. I really don’t. I feel I have weekly mottos. Haha!

To learn more about Julie Tolivar and the organizations she works with, please check out the links below:
Women to the Front:
https://www.womentothefront.com/

Southern Echo
https://southernecho.org/s/

Spread the Vote
https://www.spreadthevote.org/vote

IRC and GenR
https://www.rescue.org/slideshow/genr-action
https://www.rescue.org

Instagram: @Julie_Tolivar

Photo Team Credits:
Photographer: William Ferchichi
Stylist: Charles Ward
Hair Stylist: Damian Monzillo
Makeup Artist: Marie Josee Leduc
Photo Assistant: Anna Istomina

Julie Tolivar - Women Supporting Women