Rachel Bochner has been growing, learning and evolving a whole life, as we all do. Her upcoming debut album “I Guess A Sure Thing Couldn’t Go Down Gently” drops on September 25 and details heartbreak, self-discovery and exploring her queer identity and the freedom that comes with that. Bochner wants her queer fans to feel heard and loved by her music, and she raises money and spreads community through her work with The Wild Honey Pie.

Where are you from?
I grew up just north of NYC in Westchester and I’m currently based in Brooklyn, NY.

How has your hometown influenced yourself and your art?
The music that my parents played around the house or in the car influenced me more than anything, I think. In the car on the way to the school, my mom would put on CDs or the radio and we’d just all sing along.

To this day, my dad will put on his playlist on weekend mornings while we’re making breakfast. It’s eclectic in the best way (imagine going from “Welcome To The Jungle” by Guns ‘N Roses to “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard” to “My Everything” to “Peaches” by Justin Bieber to “Iris” by The Goo Goo Dolls).

What inspired you to get into music?
I’ve loved music for as long as I can remember, but my journey as a songwriter didn’t start until a little later in my life. For a long time, I didn’t realize that pursuing music as an artist was something I could actually do. I come from a family of primarily health care professionals — that path looked a little different than what that of an artist might!!!

Regardless, I couldn’t help but find myself gravitating towards music, and I even convinced myself that meant wanting to work at a label. I was an intern at Republic Records in the summer of 2018, which was also the summer I started writing in a serious way. In what felt like an instant, it all clicked for me. From that point on, I knew I needed to pursue an artist career.

How would you describe your sound/genre of music?
Indie-pop-rock-star-girl-music

Who are some of your biggest inspirations for your sound and storytelling?
My life, usually. My upcoming album was written after a really significant break up. It orbits my queer identity’s entanglement with insurmountable guilt, revelatory grief and the start of complex acceptance. I entered a very long term relationship at 16 years old and, almost a decade later, was faced with a pretty huge miscalculation of my understanding of myself.

Whether it was self realization, my prefrontal cortex developing or parts of myself that had been quietly tucked away finally rising to the surface, I changed, evolved. There is a line in the Lucy Dacus song “Bullseye” that haunts me: “Man, it's hard to quit while you're ahead / Lettin' the best-laid plans become empty threats”. Dacus really poignantly encapsulates the feeling that took me months to unpack and name. A feeling that colors the whole record.

In “Happier You’re Gone (SASE),” you sing “I’m happy you happened, but I’m happier you’re gone.” What do those lyrics mean to you?
I wouldn’t be where I am now if it weren’t for all the mistakes and experiences that preceded. It was painful, but I found a more whole version of myself on the other side of it all. It was worth every moment of ache and inch of scar tissue acquired on the way. While I’m grateful for it all, I am also thrilled I don’t have to relive it…

If you could give this past self of yours advice, what would you tell her?
“Girl, you’re gay.” Also, “For the love of GOD, practice guitar more.”

How are you able to hold love and forgiveness for the past versions of yourself while also being grateful for the fact that you have changed?
The past few years have taught me to hold past versions of myself a bit more gently. Right after my big break up, I blamed myself for everything that went wrong — it was somehow easier to think of it in such a black and white way.

Through making the album, I gained some perspective that allowed me to give myself a bit more grace. You can be a good person and cause harm. You can try your best and still do a terrible job. You can feel immense sadness and revelatory relief at the same time. That’s so human.

What advice do you have for listeners who may be starting to feel like they are glad to be different than they used to be?
How boring would life be if we never changed, never said the wrong thing, and never grew? What a blessing it is to not only realize you’ve evolved, but feel a sense of relief, pride or even happiness about it. My advice would just be to be gentle with yourself and those around you. We’re all figuring out how to be human for the first time.

Can you tell us the story behind your new song “Say That You Don't”?
In the wake of my break up, I was consumed by guilt. Staying was not an option, but leaving came with the price of hurting someone I still cared so deeply for — who still cared so deeply for me. I couldn’t help but indulge myself with the inherently selfish fantasy of “Say That You Don’t.” If I could snap my fingers and make all the hurt and lingering love they feel disappear… would it alleviate my guilt?

What can you tease about your upcoming album?
I’d recommend a box of tissues on hand.

I am a huge fan of your cover of “Guilty as Sin?” by Taylor Swift. I have to ask, what made you want to release that cover and also give it a sapphic point of view?
I just really loved that track off “TTPD” and wanted to sing it from a perspective that felt even more meaningful to me. The song captures this guilt-ridden yearning that feels even more gut wrenching when looked at through a queer lens.

How has your life changed since embracing your queer identity? What advice do you have for your queer fans who may be struggling with their identity?
Embracing my queerness and coming into myself in the process has opened up my world in a super massive way. I feel closer to the most honest, authentic version of myself. I’m able to create better art that feels more and more meaningful to share and I’m happier. That said, I also am incredibly privileged to live in a place and surround myself with people that make me feel safe enough to be open and proud of who I am.

There are, unfortunately, a million reasons why someone might be struggling with their identity. Whether it’s due to internalized shame, homophobia, fear or something else, it’s rarely as simple as just “embracing” who you are. Everyone deserves to feel safe enough to come out on their own time, into loving and accepting arms. My message to fans who might be having a hard time is: I see you, you are valid, I love you. You are allowed to figure things out on your own time, at your own pace. I’ll be cheering you on the whole time.

Can you tell us about your work at The Wild Honey Pie. What does this job mean to you?
As an indie artist, I’ve worked a ton of different day jobs to make creating music, touring and generally pursuing my dreams possible. I’ve nannied, worked in PR and offices, helped run social media accounts for different brands/small companies… but my work with The Wild Honey Pie is by far my favorite one yet. A major facet of TWHP is connecting artists with super fans through these cool, intimate live music experiences — all while raising money for charity.

I feel very grateful to be working with a company whose values I align with too (anti-AI art, fighting for more sustainable and equitable ways for artists to make a living, etc.). My work with them is also centered around community building, which is something I deeply value when it comes to the environment I strive to build for my current and future fans.

It has been a crazy last few years, and we expect at least three more. How do you stay positive in general about the unknown and motivated as an artist?
I love making art way too much to let the fear of failure get in the way. I’m also incredibly stubborn… I know my music can, has and will continue to make a meaningful impact on people. It’ll only keep growing from here.

What can we expect next from you short term in your career?
My debut album comes out September 25, and then I head out on my first US headline tour a few days later…

What is your motto in life?
Do it all for the sake of love

To learn more about Rachel Bochner, please check out the links below:
Instagram: @rachelbochner
Tour tickets: rachelbochner.com/#tour
Pre-save the album here.

Photography Credit: Smiles Meyer

'How Boring Would Life Be If We Never Changed': Rachel Bochner On Discovering Her Queer Identity And Releasing New Music