Raina Sokolov-Gonzalez: Reckoning With Male Gaze

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We’re all familiar with social patriarchy —a social world organized under compulsory heterosexuality. Only the heterosexual male desire is accepted as “natural” and “normal,” whereas all other sexual practices and desires are considered as “abnormal” or “an exception.” It’s a structure prioritizes men's pleasure. Raina Sokolov-Gonzalez who is a Brooklyn-based singer/composer created her latest single “Better For You” highlighting how women contort themselves physically and emotionally to be more desirable. It shows clearly the impact of the heterosexual male gaze on women but at the same time, it shows us how women can prioritize their pleasure. She invites us into her unique sonic world with harmonic nuance and lyrical poetry. We talked to Raina Sokolov-Gonzalez about her music and personal life. Check our exclusive interview with Raina Sokolov-Gonzalez to learn more about her.


Where are you based?
I’m based in Brooklyn, NY.

How did it feel to grow up in a family full of music? 
It was and continues to be so special. I don’t know anything else but I prefer this version.

Tell us a bit about your music. How did you first get started, and how have you developed your style? 
Music has always been in my life, from the very beginning. I have always been singing. I started to write songs at the age of 12 but it wasn’t until high school and applying to college that it got more serious. My style is still developing. I imagine it will continue to.

Your latest single “Better For You” grapples with the gaze, focusing on the experience of being objectified and the ambiguous response to this reality. I think it shows clearly the heterosexual male gaze on women but at the same time, it shows us how women can prioritize their pleasure. It is like a reckoning with patriarchy while empowering women. What does this song mean to you? 
That sounds about right, haha. This song is playing with and exploring the nuances of the experience of sexual objectification.

How was the creation process of “Better For You”? 
I wrote ‘BFY’ at a residency in 2017, one night in a practice room, in one sitting. The sound developed as I started to play it live with my trio and then from there we recorded it and produced it out. The process of turning this song into a recording was difficult as it was important to capture the live element. We needed to keep the energy moving and honor the lyric. I think we did. We worked hard at it.

”Better For You” is in your new album “If They’re Mine.” Can you tell us a little bit about your new album and what you hope your audience gets from it?  
The album is a cross section into the questions and dynamics that were occupying me for many years. Grappling with attachment, loss, disembodiment, and desire. These will no doubt continue to be questions in my life but these songs are of a time when these feelings were at the forefront. I hope listeners feel themselves in the music. That it gives them courage.

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In your songs, we see your vulnerability and you are articulating truths of daily life easily. How does music help you with this?
Music allows me to work through chaotic feelings, to articulate that which is difficult to say. The music itself holds me, and the storytelling and the lyrics, allow me to express true aspects of my experience that I perhaps wouldn’t know how to tell someone, or anyone.

Do you feel your Latinx background influences your music?
All of my heritage influences me. Growing up in a multicultural, musical household, the influences are many and varied. I am so grateful for this.  

We learned that you do volunteer work with South Brooklyn Mutual Aid delivering groceries to families in the area. Can you talk about it a little bit?  
Mutual Aid programs all through NYC and nationally are doing amazing, needed, daily support work in our communities. Delivery groceries in South Brooklyn is the least I can do. It’s so important to know who our neighbors are and to do any small action to make lives better.

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How pandemic has impacted you and your music? 
I wrote a lot during the pandemic in my time at home and I am grateful for those songs that came. As external life is coming back in the city, it’s back to dreaming into the future and working to make next steps a reality.

We are excited to see you are performing again! Can you tell us what it is like post covid?
Performing is such a gift. I am so grateful and humbled by the opportunity to share music with people and hold space and attention in that way. I do not take it for granted.

To find more about Raina Sokolov-Gonzalez, please follow her via Instagram:
@rainasokolovgonzalez