Let's Embrace Our Flaws with vanillacooldance
Amsterdam-based American cartoonist Jessica Stahl, vanillacooldance, is empowering women to to live a shame-free, unapologetic, and confident life, embrace your vanillacooldance! In a world where dating is hard and women are underappreciated vanillacooldance has our backs with humor and truth. Stahl is helping to change the way women see themselves in relationships, breaking taboos about sexuality, body appearance, romantic and even awkward situations on dates, and much more. When Stahl isn’t giving women a voice through vanillacooldance, she is the Creative Director at Dopper and is responsible for making ocean-saving campaigns. Keep reading to learn more about this incredible artist!
Where are you based?
I've been living in Amsterdam for the past six and a half years.
You moved from America to Amsterdam, a city you had never been to after a painful breakup. What was the moving process like? Why Amsterdam?
A one-way ticket, a single small suitcase, and a strong vision — that's all I needed to move across the world. The moving process was quick because, like most of my life actions, the moment I make a decision, I go straight into execution. So as soon as I had the realization that I was meant to live in Europe, I immediately booked a flight. I had never been to Amsterdam before, but I had heard that it was a creative and international city. What I didn't know was that it rained — a lot. Note to anyone thinking of moving across the globe, maybe check the weather. ;) Although, I've fallen in love with the city nonetheless.
Moving to another country without a job is very hard. How was the transition?
Well let's just say that I thought it would be seamless. I had the unbridled confidence of an ad lady coming from The Big Apple, so I was under the very entitled impression that I would find a job in under three months. In reality, it ended up taking me a humble year and a half. I had to get very creative to make my life work. Here's how that looked:
1) I managed to convince a group of 17 University students to let me live illegally in their spare room. I had to make sure it didn't look like anyone lived there, and I didn't even have a lock on the door! It was a sitcom in itself, but I made some great friends along the way.
2) I had to leave the Schengen zone every three months. The first time around, I moved in on my friend's couch in Edinburgh. I also spent some time living in Tel Aviv.
3) Upon arrival, I applied for a Polish passport through my grandmother, and a year later, I was able to get it. This really saved me.
4) I was job searching 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. But a pivotal point in my search was when I remembered the quote, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." So I completely changed my approach, and instead of searching, I focused on showing who I am. I created a campaign called Get Bloody Creative with the intention of getting recognition and attention in Amsterdam — and it worked! The Marketing Manager of Dopper at the time read an Adweek article about it and called me up.
You are the mastermind behind the account @vanillacooldance, a webcomic that encourages women to let their shamelessness loose. Did you have any cartoon training before creating this account? What inspired you to get into comics?
No. I actually never used to think that I could draw, but then I took @bymariandrew's skillshare course and realized that nobody actually cares how your drawings look or if you aren't trained as an artist. It's the ideas that matter — the storytelling. And that's where I thrive. So, I was empowered to start myself.
What is the story behind vanillacooldance? The name and the comic?
Vanillacooldance was my very first AOL instant messenger screen name. My guinea pig's name at the time was "Vanilla," I used to "dance," and my dad thought it needed an extra adjective… and, well, he thought I was "cool." Thus, vanillacooldance came into existence. As a child, I was very insecure, and I was actually quite embarrassed about the screen name growing up, as most of my peers had a screen name like Basketballgurl13. So when I decided to start illustrating, I wanted to reclaim all of the parts of myself I was most ashamed of and give them a stage to shine, starting with my username.
The story about the cartoon itself? When I started, vanillacooldance was 100% me. All of her stories and thoughts were Jessica Stahl's, but as vanillacooldance evolved, I realized that she took on a voice of her own. And she's just one part of me. Nowadays, I often find myself thinking, "What would vanillacooldance do?" to help me navigate my own life. And if I can let this shame-free, unapologetic, and confident part of myself take center stage in my life, how cool would it be if I could empower other women to let their own vanillacooldance out.
You were dubbed the "Tinder Picasso" by Woman Austria. How do you feel about this nickname?
I love it. My dates… maybe not so much. ;) But while I think the name was spot on at the time it was given, I probably have grown out of it. I used to draw quite literally about my dates, but now that my topics and purpose have shifted, I'd say a 2.0 nickname is in order.
We at Jejune love your comic! What inspires the topics? Why is it important for you to have such open and transparent conversations about sex, romantic relationships, and the human body on your account?
Thank you! Simply put, shame breeds shame. A vicious cycle I am out to break. Everyone has things about themselves that they are insecure about. Mostly because they don't realize how common their insecurities are. Laying everything out on the table disrupts that. It helps you live more authentically and confidently as yourself. That's what I want to inspire through my cartoons.
I do it so that people feel less alone, something that I sometimes felt growing up. In a time with limited information and access to find out what is "normal." You looked down and had nipple hair and wondered, "Am I normal?" But who could you ask? You only saw a specific vulva represented in porn, and it didn't look like yours. You didn't know what kind of relationship to look for because you hoped that Carrie Bradshaw would get Big in the end and read anything from The Rules to Why Men Love Bitches. You listened to conversations in the high school cafeteria about who gave a blow job to who, but never about female pleasure.
I want to create a world where insecurities about sex, romantic relationships, and the human body don't exist because we openly talk about it — with a lot of laughs while doing so.
Do you have a favorite comic that you have created?
I cannot choose an absolute favorite. But here are a few I really like:
May is Mental Health Awareness month. How has vanillacooldance helped your mental health?
Vanillacooldance was born at a time when I was at my lowest. She helped me transform the absurd and slightly depressing into the comedic. Drawing helps me take a lighter look at my own life and re-illustrate my own narrative. I'm a big fan of laughing my way through life and looking at things through different lenses. Vanillacooldance allows me to do that and to process experiences I'm going through in different ways.
Also, the Cool Dancer community has also been incredible. Connecting to people all around the world who share their own stories with me has been really special. It means a lot to feel like you are making a difference and creating art that resonates with many.
Dating these days is hard. What advice do you have to your readers who are frustrated?
Be kind to yourself. It's OK to feel lonely. It's OK to love your independence. And to be sick of first dates. And to want a partner. None of these things are mutually exclusive. Take a break if you aren't in the right headspace. Dating fatigue is real, so take a time out.
Go into dating without an all-or-nothing mindset. There doesn't need to be a spark in the beginning, it can grow. You just have to be curious to get to know the person more. If you are interested in seeing them again even in the slightest, just go for it. Stable and secure relationships can often start off slow but grow very strong.
Do you have male readers who appreciate your voice and maybe learn a thing or two?
Definitely! Surprisingly almost 13% of my followers are men. I've received really nice feedback from some of them about what they've learned:
"How important communication is in all aspects of relationships, but the stand out area is communication in sex. Amongst many other things."
"To keep an open mind, and that socks may help with orgasms! "
"It has reminded me that, while there are important and serious parts to intimacy (communication, boundaries, etc.), sex is for enjoyment, sex is for fun, sex is for pleasure, and it's OK to poke fun and joke about the awkward or funny sides of it!"
"That I'm not alone in my relationship anxieties and that sometimes they are in fact, something to be laughed at."
We need to talk about King's Day and how you took over Amsterdam with your epic street art! What inspired this idea? What has the response been like?
Thank you! Wow, to be completely honest, I am still speechless about how it turned out. The idea came quite organically. I wanted to hijack a moment in time that is focused on trivial things, like partying, and turn it into a conversation starter to #CloseTheOrgasmGap, especially because on King's Day, many go out with the hope of getting laid. And with these types of sexual inequalities, our Queens were at risk of getting royally screwed.
The response has been mind-blowing. People were lining up to take photos with the street art, wearing vanillacooldance stickers on their clothing, and two women even stole the poster to bring home. It took on a life of its own, and that felt incredible to create something that lived beyond me and really resonated with the Amsterdam community.
You may be in Amsterdam, but as an American are you freaking out as much as the rest of us over the potential of Roe vs. Wade being overturned?
Absolutely. It is one of those surreal moments where you saw this horror coming but are still in disbelief when it really happens. I think the quote that I have been repeating over the years is, "Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub, you'd be boiled to death before you knew it." I've been drawing about the breach of women's rights over the past years in the United States, and it is sick to see its evolution.
With the terrifying possibility of women in the US losing even more rights, do you think you will ever move back here? Are the people in Amsterdam responding to what is happening here?
Not that The Netherlands is perfect either, but I do feel much safer here in terms of my rights. The people in Amsterdam are appalled, and many are talking about it. To see such a backward step in what is supposed to be such a progressive country. It gives an eerie sense of "anything goes."
Let's switch gears a little; you are also the Creative Director at Dopper and are responsible for making ocean-saving campaigns. Can you tell us a little bit about these campaigns?
Sure! Dopper exists to protect our world's waters from plastic pollution. As Dopper's first Creative Director, I have built a dynamic in-house agency responsible for all brand touchpoints, global campaigns, impact projects, and production efforts. Creativity with the purpose of driving behavioral change.
Some of the campaigns? Bringing people eye to eye with the plastic soup from the great pacific for the first time in history. Creating a global movement where organizations, companies, events, and individuals alike collectively pledge to ban single-use plastic water bottles. The Dopper Wave. And going straight to the EU to deliver a message that reducing single-use plastics globally by only 7% is not enough to save our oceans.
This has been a crazy few years. How have you been staying positive?
Drawing and the Cool Dancer community really help! And, of course, traveling again now that things are opening up.
In honesty, I had a burnout last August, followed by a breakup in October, so it was quite difficult for a while there to stay positive. But I've found my way back to myself once again, thanks to both drawing and a trip to Colombia.
What was the lockdown like in Amsterdam?
Wow, it feels like a dream now (knock wood). The worst of it was the winter and early spring of 2021. We had a lockdown with a curfew.
